i was born a porn star she said
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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