I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
