I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
