She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize