In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
