I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so let's talk penis.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
