garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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