Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
