why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
