He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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