I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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