I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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