The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
