Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
