idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
