she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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