saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
