That's intense
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize