Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize