no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
