i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
