Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So vagazzling was a success
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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