At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
