operation harelip BJ is a go
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
