if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
