Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
