Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
