I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
