the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
