Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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