at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
