yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
