I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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