The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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