return my video game
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
