let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
