You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
sex in a hospital.. check
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
im on a boat
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