Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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