Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
