Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
