big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
