Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
