This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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