This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
