did you get engaged???
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
