Please, let me fuck your mom
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
