hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize