its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
