I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
