i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
