Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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