you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
