If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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