if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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