When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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