I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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